Why Here and Now?
A brief history of why I'm writing here and now
One of the questions I’ve asked myself over this past year, which I’ve also been asked many times by my close friends and family, is why now? Why is this the best time for me to finish my engineering career and move forward as a writer? I’m not sure I have a complete answer for that question right now, but there have been signs, indicators reenforcing my decision, and a clear feedback loop as I took each step towards this path. It got to a point late last summer that I started to resist even, thinking this can’t be as easy and right feeling, I must be fooling myself to get what I think I want.
I’m not sure when I let go and stopped resisting, or if I was really resisting at all frankly, but there was a series of moments when I knew this was happening and no one, especially myself, could stop the transition. I discovered Substack through a longtime conservative political writer I’ve read for the last twenty years or so, Andrew Sullivan. He’s a controversial writer in some ways, but a brilliant one regardless of his politics. He is prolific, honest, funny, and at times loses his mind1. One of these moments occurred when in one of Andrew’s Substack newsletters he welcomed Chuck Palahniuk to Substack.
I’m a fan of Chuck’s work, with Fight Club being somewhat of a 90’s touchstone, and having read several of his books, including Choke (which I thoroughly enjoyed). Chuck had recently come out with a new book on writing called Consider This, where he was dispensing many of the tricks and dark arts magic he had learned from his teachers and mentors over his writing career. He joined Substack with his Plot Spoiler newsletter to further his teaching of these lessons, publish a new novel in serial form, and add to the burgeoning writer’s community forming on Substack. Reading his first posts I felt relief and excitement, I felt my doubts fade a tiny bit, and I immediately subscribed.
There were other moments talking to colleagues, to friends, to Tiffanie, where it was clear I wasn’t fooling myself, that there was a momentum here beyond my control or understanding. All was in place and I was finishing my last day working as an engineer, when Andrew welcomed one of my favorite humor writers George Saunders to Substack. George is a wonderful short story writer; his stories are quirky and fun, hilarious at times, and full of generosity and empathy for his characters no matter their faults. I highly recommend reading his short story The Falls to get a sense of his storytelling ability (you can listen to author Will Mackin reading it here).
George had recently published a new book called A Swim in a Pond in the Rain, where he guides the reader through seven classic Russian short stories he's been teaching for twenty years as a professor in the prestigious Syracuse University graduate MFA creative writing program. He joined Substack to continue his lessons through more classic short stories as part of his Story Club. Seeing this on the last day of my twenty year career, as I took the leap to realize my dream of becoming a writer, was as clear a sign that this was the right time and place for me. I immediately subscribed. I wasn’t going to be figuring this out all on my own, I had two writing teachers already in Chuck and George.
I’m now in my first month living and working as a writer. I’ve been reading writing advice, novels, short stories, essays, writing craft lessons, and poems. I’ve watched old movies and new movies, television movies and long, epic films. I’ve listened to lectures, interviews, readings and podcasts. All emerging out of Chuck and George’s newsletters, their lessons, exercises, anecdotes, and the community of subscribers they’ve attracted. I’m wonderfully overloaded with seemingly endless knowledge and support, and that includes from Substack itself.
Today the founders of Substack published an essay on their position against excessive content moderation and censorship, on why their vision for Substack is needed in these times. They explain their position clearly and passionately, and I wholeheartedly agree with the entirety of their essay. We are living in distrustful times. Our culture is fragmented and spiraling further into nonsensical conspiracy and delusion. We need space to flush out all our ideas, good and bad, so we can see and trust each other once again. I high recommend everyone read their essay to gain a better understanding of why I’m doing this here and now.
At which time he generally leaves his professional position as an editor/writer at a big publication and does is own thing, first with the Daily Dish blog he ran for a decade plus, or more recently with his Substack newsletter. Andrew has always been generous linking to and engaging with other writers of all types and perspectives, and at the end of his weekly newsletter he lists new Substack writers, people who have joined the resistance, so to speak, against the gatekeepers of traditional publishing.